This posting is mainly for people who believe in the story of Genesis. You will gain insight into your relationships from my analysis of the first murder in Biblical history. By the way, I will not analyse what believe in the Genesis means, I leave that to you although it is a key as to how much benefit you can get from my analysis of the story. However, those of you who do not believe in the Bible can still get some benefit from my analysis of why Cain murdered his brother Abel. For both groups, the first thing you have to understand is that the writer of Genesis was human (although highly spiritual) and he or she could have chosen many other psychological reasons than jealoussy for the murder. The fact that he chose jealousy means that in order to improve your relationships you have to take jealousy out of the equation! Human feelings of jealousy explain why more successful individuals, racial groups, ethnic groups, nations, religions, cultures, and wealthy people are usually hunted by less successful ones. There is no question that grilled lamb chops would stimulate more of the six senses in an authority figure than an average offering of brocoli. Now, Cain could have chosen delicious figs and grapes as his offering to God, but even than a ritual offering of roasted lamb with its aroma would beat any grilled or not grilled vegetable. Feelings of jealousy in humans are unavoidable. It is built into all human relationships. The feeling cannot be prevented, but the behaviour of less successful people hurting the more successful ones can! How? Two ways: 1. Education, and 2. strength. If Abel used his knife (he had a weapon he used to ward off animals that try to attack his sheep) to kill Cain in self-defense, history would have been different. Jealousy may not have been chosen as so powerful a force in relationship to a father figure. A sweating older son, a poor farmer whose land did not produce quality food, would not have been chosen as the killer and his wealthy younger brother, who raised great sheep with love and care, would not have been chosen as the slain son.
Were you so immersed in my cute story that you forgot why I wrote it? I hope not. Start by teaching children who do not do well in school not to act out against children who do well (you can’t teach them not to be jealous). Teach children who do not learn as well as others not to drop out of school and start hurting nerds. Teach them to stay in school and take remedial education. Teach children not to be so at awe about authority figures (authoritarian societies don’t achieve). And, finally, teach children who do well in school how to defend themselves physically if attacked. I feel strongly about this because I was a smart and gentle teenager when I was growing up and the bullies always picked up fights with me, stole my lunch box, called me sissy and kicked me out of the basketball team. That is, until I learned the martial arts!
The best thing that you can learn from the story of Genesis, chapter 4, is that if you are a high achieving person learn to defend yourself physically. Others who can’t compete with you successfully will then not hurt you but will choose you their leader. Can you imagine if Abel twisted Cain arm as Cain was trying to murder him, and said, “If you try to kill me again I will break your neck.”