Posts Tagged ‘happiness’

My response to Justin on LinkedIn.

July 8, 2013

Dr. Eli Kinarthy • Your challenge is welcome but because my response will make no difference in your life, I will not continue a “healthy dialogue.’
1. A state of happiness (Maslow’s self actualization), once achieved, does not change by circumstances, Feelings come and go.
2. Happiness is a state of self-programing, better “software,” alcohol, dopamine, sex, etc. can add temporary feelings, great “stuff.”
3. Why would I want to read a book on happiness when my decision-making skills puts me at the top 1% of society (look at my picture, it’s recent!).
4. Justin, time to enrol in graduate school and advance beyond empirical observations.
5. Great books, but you missed the point of “knowing what is as it is.” Missed by almost everyone!
6. You got this one right if you meant “perfection” as awareness of reality and not the absent of problems.
7. Keep searching. Please do not respond. You are a contrarian person, not a seeker of truth.

Advertisements

My response to an article someone wrote in Psychology Today.

July 5, 2013

Dr. Eli Kinarthy • At 76, having been a psychologist since 1975, here is what I discovered:
1. Happiness is like pregnancy, you are either pregnant of you are not.
2. Happiness is a sustainable state of being, you are happy when you don’t feel it.
3. Happiness is a “magical” state, most of the decisions you make work well with small risk.
4. Happiness is a state of an active relationship with a supreme being.
5. Happiness is knowledge of the Bhagavad Gita. What you know is so!
6. happiness is a “perfect behavior.’

7. To be continued…

Narcissism.

January 9, 2013

Narcissism is preoccupation with one’s body and oneself. It’s healthy. Narcissism includes vanity, belief in one’s good looks and social abilities, selfishness, placing one’s interests above the interests of others (without hurting them), and greed, selfishness at the expense of others – this one is clinical.

Here is the shocker: Narcissism is beneficial to the individual and society unless it is clinical, a fact  that is omitted from the definitions of the word narcissism in dictionaries. What is “clinical”?  This word is 100% important to know for your good life! “Clinical” means that the behavior of narcissism interfere with your ability to “love and work” in society (Google “love and work” to learn what it means). You see, it’s all simple, if you are a psychologist, please don’t complicate the issue. I am a narcissistic psychologist (normal, not clinical). I treat my slim and trim body like it is a temple of God, I make money at 76 like I have a million tomorrows to spend it, I am very skillful socially, I write blogs and websites on everything, I am married to a smart and beautiful woman. I love myself. I adore my identity as narcissist.

Hey, my sweet friend, if you are an obese narcissistic normal, you will lose weight with less effort than the humble fat person will. You want to look sharp. You may feel that you look sharp after losing only 20 lbs. If you are narcissistic normal you talk about yourself a lot but in a way that attracts and entertains others (most people are boring). You accumulate nicer things than others do. You make a great teacher or politician because you love attention. You buy for yourself nicer things than you buy for others. You love to be a great teacher, counselor, tour guide, or what have you. I love narcissistic normals. I  avoid narcissistic clinicals. Hey, listen, the truth will make you free. You can now thank me for helping you understand how the bad part of culture tries to limit our self-love!

Soul mates marry for a life of happiness!

August 14, 2012

I am a behavioural psychologist. I taught a college accredited parapsychology research course at Rio Hondo College in California for 25 years, one of the few transferable 3 units courses on the paranormal ever taught in  higher education. Most individuals don’t marry their soul mates. After lecture one day Mary came to my office with a question, “Dr. Kinarthy, what do I have to do to find my soul mate?” Other students were interested but couldn’t cross the line from “material I have to study for a test” to “psychic stuff that I can use to help me live better.”

“Mary, do you date?” “Yes.” “Can you act?” “Yes.” “Have you been married before?” “Yes.” “When did you split?” “May 3, 1987.” “Do you date again?” “Yes.” “Good, when you go on a date inadvertently ask your date what he/she did or felt on that day.” The one who says “I was very happy, but I didn’t exactly know why,” may be your soul mate.” “You have to practice it a few times. One student had a bad car accident on September 9, 1996. One of his dates in 1998 cried for no apparent reason when he mentioned that date without the story!” Most of my married students didn’t marry their intended partner and tended to feel that something was missing in their relationships. The theory is simple: An intended soul mate you didn’t meet yet may feel significantly good or bad when something good or bad happens to you before you met. Go for the search and let me know what you discovered!.

An American life.

March 28, 2012

This posting isn’t about the exceptions. it is about the rule: A baby born in the United States today is likely to face parents with “chips” on their shoulders, schools where teachers teach with less concern for students’ deployable knowledge or violent behavior, where school administrators are “lifers” acting “politically correct.”  You are young, you have excellent health, meaningless social life (you don’t know it) and no money. You grow up, most get married, have kids and save money while losing their health to a medical system that pretends to care. Then you are old, you have more money but you are now preoccupied with health issues and relatives. What about happiness and love? You are lonely and your family is not that wonderful to you. You go to counseling and the social worker has no answers (she is part of the system too). Then you die and the next generation continue the pretended meaningless life.

I know that you want to have more money, respect, love, better relationships, then what’s the problem? The problem is that you don’t want to give up the behavior you believe in… just because it isn’t working. You really believe that your values somehow will lead to a good life, it’s “Just around the corner” you say.  Do you know what’s wrong with you? Nothing! You are simply a product of an educational system that shapes a life of deprivation. The US Constitution not withstanding, those of you who run things pay only lip service to the pursuit of happiness. Is there something simple that you can do to change? Yes, say and do positive things from this moment on!!!! You’ll see the results within a month! Behave positive, be nonviolent, move to a better neighborhood. Hey dude, think of yourself for a change. You can do it. I did it, you can too!

Priming your behavior ensures success and happiness.

March 13, 2012

Being free to create and independent to relate, my “soul mate” and I often go for coffee and pastry or an occasional breakfast wherever we land.  We love to talk about life, events and friends. Upon returning home to chores, office to boring phone calls and classroom or workshop to face clients or students who can’t “get it,” I prime my motivation for success and happiness.

Choose an activity that you absolutely love to do. Do that activity first, from half an hour to even three, upon returning from your coffee break. This  “primacy effect” (first impression that sets the tone) is a “priming behavior” for the rest of the day or evening. In my case, I love to post on my blogs, so that is what I do right now for half an hour before I move to another office to work on my tax papers.

Priming your behavior is a powerful motivational force. As a teacher, arrange to teach your favorite class or subject first in the morning. Doing the thing you love first will get you going to do the chores. And, if you are smart reward yourself also at the “recency stage.”  Many handsome young bachelors  and beautiful sexy girls don’t get it that a “radiance date” can prime a whole month before and after for happiness and success.

Now I am ready for the taxes.

E-Harmony.com

August 30, 2011

I just saw their commercial as I was looking at my soul mate of 30 years and I had to respond. Thirty years ago one of my most popular assignment to my psychology students was to arrange interviews with owners of dating services. In those days there was a stigma about dating outside the norm. My students believed that those who use these services to find a date-mate are homely, poor, not good-looking, don’t know how to talk to the opposite sex and are shy. I don’t know how reliable eHarmoney.com is but the idea of computerized matching  is psychologically sound. Here are the statistics: Before you marry the woman you met at school, at the party or though your sister or by accident, you have known about 100 eligible women. About seven of them would have made good wives. You usually don’t choose those. One would have made an ideal wife, you don’t even pay attention to her. You ended marrying someone in the middle of the pack because you never really found the ideal one. As I said, I don’t know about eHarmony.com but a great computerised introductory service should have about 10,000 registered individuals. If you are matched with the best of those, you and her would certainly look and act like the 4 couples in love in the eHarmony commercial I just saw. I say, go for it if you can’t find the love of your life in your neighborhood. But, remember, you really need to answer the questionnaire truthfully and kind of know what you are really looking for in the long run. Just because you both like labradoodles or surfing is not enough. A great match has to do with the Freudian Edipus and Electra Complexes!

BUDDHA: “THE MIND IS THE SLAYER OF THE TRUTH.”

May 31, 2011

Yes, that is what the father of Buddhism said about the human mind. Add to that the sayings by the father of Psychoanalysis, Freud, “The mind is the beast in the cellar,” or Aristotle, the great philosopher,  “The mind is the genie in your head,” or Gordon Allport, the great psychologist, “The mind is functionally independent of you,” or the Bible, “The mind always calculates,” or the myriad of other statements about the human mind such as “The disowned Self, the mind that can do anything it wants,’ and you get the picture: YOUR MIND GENERATES ALL THE DECISIONS IN YOUR LIFE, AND THOSE DECISIONS THAT DON’T WORK YOU BLAME –  ON YOURSELF OR OTHERS. YOUR  MIND  CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE AND GET AWAY WITH IT. IF ANYONE EVER DID TO YOU WHAT YOUR MIND DOES TO YOU, YOU WILL DISAVOW YOURSELF FROM THAT PERSON!

Now, the irony of that truth above is that it is so easy to change for the better, to become more wealthy, healthy and happy. Forget Neuro-linguistic Programing (NLP), counseling, psychotherapy, confession, all programs to change the mind. All you need to do is SAY AND DO GOOD THINGS NO MATTER WHAT’S IN YOUR HEAD! You see, there is no way you can change your negative thoughts and feelings except by contrary verbal or nonverbal action! There is no other way.

I am a 75-year-old retired psychologist. Thirty years ago I decided to quit smoking. How did I do it? I changed what I was saying to people, my behavior changed, not my cravings. The cravings disappeared after a week when my MIND realized that I chose to “lie in the service of the truth” as Dr. Brunner, the great psychologist would call it. On the first day without a cigaret, a fried asked me, “Would you like a cigaret?” I said, “No, I have no craving for a cigaret, no desire to smoke, in fact I can’t even smell the smoke in the room anymore.” A week later I said, “Quitting smoking is the easiest thing to do in life.” Everyone turned to look at me (you know the look) because they didn’t know that I was “lying in the service of the truth.” Only my MIND knew that I finally decided to pick up the only psychological tool that is always stronger than the MIND – lying in the service of the truth! My mind changed and became my ally!

I have given you today the most powerful psychological tool to change your life, make more money, have better health and happiness. Remember, what you say can change your life. Telling the truth if its negative will ruin your life (you’ll always wonder but you’ll never know why things don’t work for you). Go for lying but do it the correct way, not your mind’s way. Be careful, your mind will try to take over the process and slay the truth that Buddha just gave you through me. Good luck!

One of you is ready!

March 13, 2011

I mean it. Read a few of my postings. I’m not kidding. You may be the one. I am looking for one of you who is ready to help spread amazing knowledge and later pick up where I leave off; not that I am going to croak, but it may take time grooming a successor for this job. When I am gone one day I want to crossover in peace knowing that you will continue the tradition of telling the truth about life without the spin!

The truth is difficult to believe and I need a few young individuals somewhere out there in the world (may be in China, India, Israel, the US, Canada, Europe, the Middle-East, somewhere) who have an open mind ready to learn the following general truths and start spreading the specific information that is right now withheld (The 10% Rule in my writings):

1. HEALTH: We do now know how to prolong life and eradicate disease, even cancer, heart condition and Alzheimer, but politics is withholding the information from health professionals and the public. I need you!

2. WEALTH: We do know how to eradicate poverty, even how to become wealthy, but government, culture, religion and politics withhold information from business people and the general public. I want you to respond to this posting if you got what it takes to learn to do it right!

3. HAPPINESS: We do now know what it takes to be happy, even all the time, but those who don’t know tend to make a living writing and conducting classes and workshops how to make you happy. I want you to respond to this posting if you have what it takes to learn the right way to be happy.

4. YOU: Do you want to try? Start by inventing an ideal name that fits you and you want to go by if selected. I will respond only to those of you who really-really-really want to do something good, useful and new about our planet. You must have a genuine personality, not negative, argumentative or have an ax to grind. I am a “life coach” and I will train you for free. All I want in return is a personal committment to yourself, your family, your friends, your country, religion, culture,humanity and to continue my work at “Tikun Olam.”

What drives a human being?

February 5, 2011

I want your help in making my blog http://www.drelior.wordpress.com live up to its name THE PEACEFUL REVOLUTION –  more and more every day, OK?  As a well-known wealthy psychologist in California, I don’t need this blog to make money or get me famous. At 75, my happiness depends on seeing YOU happy, my fellow human beings! I mean it! This planet can provide prosperity and peace for all of us, including Egypt, India, China and the USA.  All YOU need is new EDUCATION, to know the truth about you. Unfortunately, you will not get it “doogree” (to the point) from other blogs because they are too political, like to write a lot, explain a lot, but are short on the two most important aspects of true education : UNDERSTANDING AND ACTION.

What drives a human being are 3 forces: Your powerful HORMONES, your powerful BELIEFS and your sweet SPIRIT. All the other forces are so secondary that if you concentrate on improving these three, you will start doubling your wealth, health and happiness within a DAY! You will FEEL it within an hour!

Let me explain it in a less academic way: Let’s start with your SPIRIT. Do you remember the day your life changed for the BETTER or WORSE over night? I know it happened.  Very few researchers know the fact that a new SPIRIT (a swarm of electromagnetic particles called Monads) has entered your forehead and Pineal gland. Ruth Montgomery and other researchers who studied this monad phenomenon  are right about the process, but only I have developed the hypnosis process that can show you HOW to invite an incredible SPIRIT to enter you that will instantly change your life for the BETTER. No book or study has ever demonstrated how it works. Even myself, a college professor of parapsychology with 30 years experience has done this unusual hypnotic process only 10 times in 30 years!

The second force that drives a human being is well-studied in organic chemistry – HORMONES. They regulate EVERYTHING in your BODY and MIND. Here is the “shocker” that we all have to live with (or die with): HORMONE THERAPY CAN CURE EVERYTHING through an intravenous CHELATION that may take an hour or so, if caught in time. The only reason that medical lab research does not design and produce HORMONES that CURE CANCER or other diseases is that MEDICAL AUTHORITIES do not want to CURE anything and lose payments for maintenance treatments! Medicine today IS CAPABLE of “scanning” the body, find the missing hormones due to genetics or environmental reasons, design the missing hormones in a lab, administering them to people by CHELATION and cure the condition. But, this blessing will never be available to YOU unless YOU make GOVERNMENT legislate the RIGHT laws about it!

The last force that drive a human being is BELIEF. YOU act upon your belief. Where do beliefs come from? IT DOESN’T MATTER! What matters is that there is an educational system called C-MOR that if implemented in our schools, the next generation will grow up with beliefs that WORK BEST for accumulating WEALTH, maintaining HEALTH and creating HAPPINESS! C-MOR is an educational system created by great minds such as Dr. Jean Piaget, Dr. Zigmund Freud and Dr. B.F.  Skinner, the most criticized and least acknowledged psychologists on earth. We suffer!

Read ALL my postings! Now that you know what drives a human being, drop all the “clutter” theories, stop reading all the “junk” explanations of why most humans don’t develop their full potential and concentrate on driving YOURSELF to Health, Wealth and Happiness on MY road map! (TBC).