Why did the referee overlooked the penalty kick?

The referee of the game today between Costa Rica and Italy saw/did not see the Italian defender near the goal line pushing hard the Costa Rica striker just before the striker tried to kick the ball toward the Italian net. The camera showed that it should have been a penalty kick for Costa Rica. The referee ignored it. Why? The question is if he didn’t see the violation he should not be an international referee. He should go back to training in secondary league for 2 years. I think that the chances are very small that he didn’t see the violation. He is after all a qualified referee for international matches. The only question remains then is why he ignored the violation? That is where I come in as a psychologist. The answer is conscious and subconscious FIFA politics. You see, Italy has power in FIFA, Costa Rica does not. Why? The reason is that Italy has been a world champion 4 times and has influenced and voted in officials. Costa Rica never had a chance to have any political power in FIFA. CR is a nobody politically. Whistling for a penalty kick against Italy when the score was 0:0 may have been bad for the referee’s career, especially if later some officials looking at the film would disagree about the penalty kick. Ignoring the justified penalty kick was better for the referee’s career (the act may have been subconscious if the referee was an honest fellow). Costa Rica protested for 5 minutes vehemently and then played hard and scored a goal within 1 minute (out of anger). You see the psychology of it? If you are a coach you can galvanize your team through anger 10 times more effectively than through flag or nationality! Anger doubles the motivation to kick harder, run faster, pass less and attack relentlessly. Costa Rica won the game 1:0. Anger brought out the last juice of their skill of playing. Check it out in the background of their coach. His training method is probably superior to other coaches in the world cup tournament. I run another blog on Wall street CEO’s, sport coaches are like business CEO’s, 99% of them are good garden variety coaches coaching better than themselves professional players, but only once in a while you get a Steven Jobs or a Zuckerberg in the field . I don’t even know his name, but the coach of the Costa Rica team may be a Jobs or a Zuckerberg! Good luck, Senior!

Ukraine: My dad came from there.

My family from Kiev were rich Jewish merchants. Many came to America after repeated pogroms in Ukraine. You can find many successful Kolchinsky people in American cities today. Yaakov was my grandfather. He employed 30 garment workers in Kiev. My father David was 14 when they left Ukraine in 1922. They told me as I was growing up me that Ukrainians hate Jews and that’s why they left Kiev. My dad used to say “Ukrainians revere their historical leader Kamelnitzky who murdered Jews with the zeal of the Nazis.” My dad passed away in 1991. He used to say, “Any country that would kill its Jews will suffer the consequences of a culture preoccupied with hate of minorities instead of being occupied with building a just and vibrant society.”  I live in Canada today, a flourishing country with very little antisemitism. I read about  the Ukrainians still killing each other in 2014 instead of building an economy. I wonder if my father was right in what he believed? Why did Kamelnitzky have to murder Jewish children? Why did Ukrainians erect a statue for him on a horse in Kiev as if he was a good man hero? You know, readers, I feel lucky that the Kolchinsky clan were driven out of the Ukraine by antisemitism? I live in Canada. Ukrainian generals tortured strangers who lived peacefully in their midst  for a 1000 years! Something is wrong. I really don’t fully understand why Ukraine suffers so much.  I wish them peace. As a social psychologist, I wish they realize that Ukrainian nationalism should be nurtured to benefit all the Ukrainian people: Ukrainian, Russian, Jew, Tartar and others. Nationalism, yes, nationalism, that is what’s missing there, the sense that Ukrainians can come in different colors, religions and ethnicities and still be 100% Ukrainians. I still feel some affinity for the country of my grandfather Yaakov. Kolchinsky, the Kiev clan, why did you have to kick them out because they were successful Jews? Jealousy? They were good for your economy. My grandfather employed 30 people who lost their jobs. No wonder the economy is still struggling in the Ukraine. Please, shed off your hate for each other, get productive and live in peace! You need to learn to believe more in God and less in your version of Him!

Zimmerman: A trial by lawyers, not by law.

We say in Europe, “Beware of Greeks bearing gifts,” because the Trojan Horse lead to the death of innocent people. I say in America, “Beware of the English bearing justice,” because  the “Jury trial by your peers,” lead to innocent men being locked up and guilty men set free. Daniel Kahneman the Nobel laureate concluded in a study that sometimes your lunch break determine whether you set a guilty man free of give him additional years in jail.” The Zimmerman trial is a farce from start to end, worse than even what the English intended. They said, “The job of a jury is to deal with facts.” In the Zimmerman case the job of the jury was to discount the 80% emotional testimony from the 20% fact. The British said, “A jury of your peers,” and the American agreed. But, never follow. Are six women the peers of the man Zimmerman? How do 5 women with children represent the defendant? The English said, “A simple jury should understand the laws of their country enough to follow proceedings.” In 2013? Are you kidding me. I watched the trial, even the lawyers didn’t understand the laws involved. That is why they vacillated and argued a lot, and brought up things in the last-minute. A fishing expedition. It was political, not legal. This trial was not about finding the truth. It was about winning a case at all costs, even at the chance of losing your self-respect bringing up “child abuse.”  This was trial by lawyers, not trial by law.

A much better system of justice would have to wait for the American day of enlightenment in the year 2100.  It would be a trial by 12  trained certified jurors from different backgrounds, selected randomly from a pool, who can follow the complexity of a modern justice system, who will not tolerate a farce in the court room by anyone creating a frivolous jury trial. These 6 women must have felt like kids in a show by the theatric of the prosecution lawyer, my God, what a joke at tax payers expense.

BUDDHA: “THE MIND IS THE SLAYER OF THE TRUTH.”

Yes, that is what the father of Buddhism said about the human mind. Add to that the sayings by the father of Psychoanalysis, Freud, “The mind is the beast in the cellar,” or Aristotle, the great philosopher,  “The mind is the genie in your head,” or Gordon Allport, the great psychologist, “The mind is functionally independent of you,” or the Bible, “The mind always calculates,” or the myriad of other statements about the human mind such as “The disowned Self, the mind that can do anything it wants,’ and you get the picture: YOUR MIND GENERATES ALL THE DECISIONS IN YOUR LIFE, AND THOSE DECISIONS THAT DON’T WORK YOU BLAME –  ON YOURSELF OR OTHERS. YOUR  MIND  CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE AND GET AWAY WITH IT. IF ANYONE EVER DID TO YOU WHAT YOUR MIND DOES TO YOU, YOU WILL DISAVOW YOURSELF FROM THAT PERSON!

Now, the irony of that truth above is that it is so easy to change for the better, to become more wealthy, healthy and happy. Forget Neuro-linguistic Programing (NLP), counseling, psychotherapy, confession, all programs to change the mind. All you need to do is SAY AND DO GOOD THINGS NO MATTER WHAT’S IN YOUR HEAD! You see, there is no way you can change your negative thoughts and feelings except by contrary verbal or nonverbal action! There is no other way.

I am a 75-year-old retired psychologist. Thirty years ago I decided to quit smoking. How did I do it? I changed what I was saying to people, my behavior changed, not my cravings. The cravings disappeared after a week when my MIND realized that I chose to “lie in the service of the truth” as Dr. Brunner, the great psychologist would call it. On the first day without a cigaret, a fried asked me, “Would you like a cigaret?” I said, “No, I have no craving for a cigaret, no desire to smoke, in fact I can’t even smell the smoke in the room anymore.” A week later I said, “Quitting smoking is the easiest thing to do in life.” Everyone turned to look at me (you know the look) because they didn’t know that I was “lying in the service of the truth.” Only my MIND knew that I finally decided to pick up the only psychological tool that is always stronger than the MIND – lying in the service of the truth! My mind changed and became my ally!

I have given you today the most powerful psychological tool to change your life, make more money, have better health and happiness. Remember, what you say can change your life. Telling the truth if its negative will ruin your life (you’ll always wonder but you’ll never know why things don’t work for you). Go for lying but do it the correct way, not your mind’s way. Be careful, your mind will try to take over the process and slay the truth that Buddha just gave you through me. Good luck!

Understanding the psychology of North and South KOREA!

Mark my words, soon North Korea will attack South Korea – again. How do I know that? The North bombed the South and the South asked for a peace conference! My first reasearch as a graduate student in psychology at the State University of California in 1970 was comparing Authoritarian and Egalitarian attitudes. In politics it would be comparing the governing style by people who usurp powers and the governing style of people who get elected. In business it would be people who work with you to accomplish a task or people who order you around. At home it would be a parent who shows you how to do a chore and a parent who force you to do it. Good, I got your attention! This posting isn’t only about South Korea and North Korea fighting each other, it’s about world peace! And, it’s about you and me! First, I want you to understand the dynamics of the conflict between a DEMOCRACY and a DICTATORSHIP, and second, I want you to understand the dynamics of the conflict between you as a free person and individuals you relate to who grew up in authoritarian homes, religions and cultures.

The reason I am successful in relationships is that my mother was a democratic type and my father was dictatorial. I learned early in life (in my teens) to work and play nice together with others in school, as my mother had taught me. My father, on the other hand, said, “Elior, don’t forget to think big and kick ass when someone steps on your toes.”

The problem with democracies like South Korea is that they didn’t “kick ass” when the North sank their ship and bombed their island. The problem with democracies like the United States is that they didn’t bomb Iran when Iran kidnapped 444 American diplomats. The problem with democracies is that they lose the motivation to “kick ass” when dictatorships attack them. Sure, they end fighting them and winning when they get sick and tired of being kicked around but at a greater cost because they had waited till the last moment to “kick ass.” A teacher is high school once asked me, “Elior, why did you break George’s  arm, he only tripped you in the playground. “I remember saying to the teacher, “My dad taught me that if I don’t kick back twice as hard for every kick I absorb, they’ll come back for more.” Interestingly, when I became a psychologist I understood it in a nicer way as “Contingency management of conflict resolution.”

In the 20th century, the Right was dictatorial and the Left was democratic. In the 21st century it’s the opposite, the Right is democratic and the Left is dictatorial. Capitalism is economic freedom, Socialism is economic control, Republicans  are for less political control over your life and Democrats are for more, Christians are for free behavior in relationships and Islamists are for total control of women,  Israel is a free society and Palestine is a controlled society, South Korea makes excellent LG (Life’s Good) appliances for the home and North Korea develops weapons to destroy homes. in short, there are two kinds of people in the world, those who relate openly and those who coerce, people who believe in the relative rights of the individual and those who believe in the absolute rights of the group over the individual!

Now you know what to do! If you are the open-minded, flexible democratic personality type, treat the dictatorial, rigid, authoritarian person you meet with RESPECT until he kicks your ass – and he will! Then, beat the shit out of him. He will become your friend and change for the better – guaranteed, if you do it right! (read the book by Dr. Robert Lindner “The 50 Minute Hour”). About your democratic government, you must influence YOUR democratic government to be more effective in dealing with dictatorship governments. At the present time all the dictatorships in the world are in conflict with the world’s democracies whether it is in Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, North Korea, Lebanon, Syria, Palestine, or Pakistan. Make the world better, faster – by kicking ass as a response to kicking ass! Donald Trump is my hero, although he didn’t take conditioning as far as I did! Have great relationships! Read my 200 postings! It’s free! I care!

Does Obama deserves a second term as president?

I thought Bush was bad, what’s emerging is that Obama is far more dangerous to your well-being. He is the kind of charismatic speaker that can get you to vote for him for a second term as president – while the country is ruined, much worse off than before. Obama does things that if you did them your wife or husband will divorce you!

His administration borrowed and printed more dollar sheets than any administration in history – akin to a man taking money from your kids, refinancing your wife’s car, borrowing money against your and everybody’s future earnings, selling your nice possessions and obtaining 2 huge new mortgages on a home that need repairs – in order to support instead an extended family of 100 semi-skilled relatives looking for handouts.

All the job creation programs Obama thought of or approved during his administration so far require borrowing money from future Middle-class tax payers to pay the salaries of the poor and the very rich in the present – 2000 billion bucks! Warning: Government extra jobs beyond government basic jobs, leave no new infrastructure or permanent improvements in society, There is a Chinese proverb that says, “You give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, you teach his how to fish and you feed him for a life time.”  Obama should not get reelected president in 2012, but you know something – he will be reelected – his speech is so eloquent that he would tell you that without the “fish” he gave around people would have starved. This is akin to the man telling his wife not to divorce him because his 100 semi-skilled relatives are not looking for a handout anymore. “They are now looking for real jobs – and I deserve a second term to provide them those jobs!”

You fools!

The “killing fields” of politics.

In life, you either lose, win or draw, and that is how it should be. If you lose you try to win the next time and if you win you try not to lose the next time. A draw is a compromise, both win less but both win something better than losing. Sometimes a draw in called an armistice, as in real war. Armistice is like a temporary compromise until one of the parties feels strong enough to challenge the other. When a fight is for a trophy, land, triumph, etc. a duel called ‘shoot out’ occurs, as in a sports when we must have a gold medal winning team.

Life is like a soccer game, and that is good. I win a lot so I like it, but some of my victories are taken away by courts, judges and lawyers, that is like having biased referees and line’s men on a soccer field. When that happens too often sport become like politics, the game is over, the “killing fields” begin.

The amazing conclusion of my story this evening is that if you run a country like a sport, you will have less problems, while if you run a sport like a country, you will have more problems. The solution, I am serious, is to replace politicians, lawyers, judges and courts with trained sports referees in the field!

I once suggested to have such a referee in every financial institution in Wall Street. I don’t understand why those folks that lost money the most during the recession laughed at my suggestion the most?

One Young World: What are you up to, kids?

These 2 individuals had their chance and did nothing. How can Bishop Desmond Tutu and the  former head of the UN create a new world order if they are the people who shaped the old world order? The idea of a London Conference of young, under 25-year-old, representatives from all the countries in the world is fantastic, but how do you create a new world order with old world ideas of inaction? My massage to the OYW organization is: Have one of the young leader of this august conference – EMAIL ME (drelk@shaw.ca). There is a way to save the world but it is not with just the enthusiasm of youth who think they know the way.  Twitter and Facebook will help change the world, but not with their present content. Do you REALLY want a new world order? Organize the next conference ONLY on how to replace the present educational system in every country!!!!!!!!!!!! I will speak at that conference.

All other topics in your conference are just for fun! Enjoy! Dr. Elior.

Hey, people, let everyone know about this blog!

Looking at this blog, it really clarify issues. This is the thinking revolution you were waiting for. Bring more people in on this conversation. You don’t want this blog to go away. If it does, you will lose the only only only blog that really tells it like it is – intelligently!

The psychology of naming cars.

All human decisions are made by individuals or groups drawing on four basic source to guide them: culture, religion, science or personal experience. Very few human decisions are made on the basis of what works best. Most are an amalgamation of all four basic sources, the worse being religion, then personal experience, then culture, and finally science.

Having experienced the lingering effect of NYE champaign, a simplified version of the psychology of naming cars popped into my light head 🙂 🙂  Who was the dummy at Ford who thought that the Ford Pinto was a winning horse, and berated the American Indian executive who came up with Ford Mustang? Praise the Lord to the wealthy one who came up with a great city and a great president; Chrysler New Yorker and Ford Lincoln. He had divine inspiration. Of course, none of them was as scientific as the Japanese committee that decided on the social Honda civic or the deluxe Lexus, real winners. Poor Germans, got defeated in two world wars they had started, so all they could come up with was a bug and the fleeing rabbit. I wonder why the Russians didn’t come up with a Volga bear hug, the British with the Morris Lion Heart, or the Americans with tiger woods Golf wagon?  Personally, I would have preferred a Chevy Wealth, GM Health, and Ford Focus –  on Happiness. By the way, that is why, as a psychologist, I was never invited to be on a naming committee for anything. Have a great year.