Posts Tagged ‘culture’

Do you need a religion in your life?

March 21, 2016

SEGMENT TWO: A religion is a place you go to for rehab, a “half-way-house-between the mess you made and sweet home, the place you go to find out what you did wrong and how to make decisions that work and get you back on the road to God. Humans have souls that provide veracity and purpose for living, manifesting itself in consciousness and a prime desire to learn to relate to a “protective” and “loving” supreme being. Having no science to guide them to God, they come up with interesting “stories.” Sociology and culture enrich their lives but can’t provide a truth path to God. They get disappointed, unless they make a living form it!

Religion starts with a man having a “divine” experience. The Jews find Moses, the Christians find Jesus, the Muslims find Mohamed, the Hindus find Brahma, the Buddhists find Buddha, and so on. Houses of worship spring up everywhere, each doing its meaningful thing with rituals, music, dance, culture, food and sex…and services to the needy. Religion gets A+ for good music, get together, good food, pot luck, trips to shrines, a complete cultural phenomena, so well-organized that elders usually are the first to deceive themselves that they are really doing God’s work,  relating to God. They are not. They are relating to their cultural perception of God. Is that OK? Yes, as long as you know that you can’t get God’s benefits unless you become authentic. Hidden self-deception is OK untill you get the information you need to move on. Pretence has become so real that most people who attend a house of worship really feel that God is listening to their problems.  Religion prevents you from reaching God. No soldier with PTSD would ever commit suicide if he went to a church created by God and not by man. Is that possible? Yes, but man will have to create a “cultural church” alongside a “healing church,” each with its own rules of behavior, one from the soul and the other comes from the mind, working together to feed humanity activities for fun and truth for healing!  Religion has failed to take man to God. He now lives for the “stories.” SEGMENT THREE will be about What is a true Church?

The peaceful revolution!

February 15, 2014

I started this blog a few years ago after retiring as a successful psychologist with a goal to make a difference in the lives of millions of people. As a professor of psychology and parapsychology since 1973 I made a difference in the lives of 40,000 students and patients (ask them, it’s amazing the letters that I get). So, I thought I could enlightened the rest of you to make a difference in your lives. I expected to succeed but I didn’t! I should have because I came to the United States from Israel in 1960 to get education and I found out what life was all about. I did, but somehow the information ins’t reaching you! I cured two cancers, made a couple of millions “bucks,” married a beautiful, smart, loving and successful woman and sired 4 kids, but the rules of a successful life that I gathered didn’t impact on-line listeners as it had impacted my students! Sure, a trickle of visitors married right, improved their health and made money, but where are the rest of you? I asked around, “What am I doing wrong?’ No one had the answer. Then it downed on me reflecting what an insightful participant in one of the few workshops that I conducted said to me, “Dr. Kinarthy, you said that making great decisions with lower risk requires following a set of rules that people don’t believes in!”

OK, dudes, what I may be doing wrong is my assumption that Abraham Maslow, the great psychologist was right when he said, “You are only as good as your culture let you be.” Let’s test this hypothesis: The Chinese culture guides the Chinese people to “Live to eat.” (watch their joy in restaurants). They are not fat. The American culture guides Americans to “Eat to live.” They are fat. I am an American but I “Live to eat.” I love eating, I lick, I eat slow, I more jaws, small portions, everything on my plate goes in. I am not fat. Start the experiment: Say “I live to eat,” 100 times per day every day, start eating 3 times slower than before and eat it all except real fat stuff. Share your results with me next year today. Good luck!

 

 

Gay rights in Russia.

August 11, 2013

The people in the West tell us that Russian law is discriminatory against gays organizing themselves into a minority political movement. That is true! So what? What is not true is that Russia is anti gay. I doesn’t take brains to know the difference, but most people in the west – don’t. Why? Because Obama took the issue to the extreme in order to get elected. An American child who wants to be raised by a mother and a father can’t do so if his gay father marries another man. In Russia he can! As a gay person in Russia you are free to do your own thing as long as you don’t organize as a political movement. What’s wrong with that? I know other political movements in history that shouldn’t have been organized. Political sexuality is as corrupt as any other political movement, why do you need it?. Sexual behavior as a political movement will one day backfire.  Love does not fit as a political movement. The Russian got it and so should you. The fact that the Russian society resists your attempt to force it to be like us and accept “gay parades” or “gay marriages” doesn’t make that society anti-gay, it makes it gay neutral as it should be. Keep your American ego or values to yourself and let other cultures be as they wish to be as long as they don’t discriminate against gays as individuals!

What is perfection?

August 4, 2013

I met this nice fellow at the hospital support group meeting in 2008. I decided to mention in my book a few characters I met during the years fighting cancer to victory. George was a C-Personality.  George as a cancer patient was the implosive type who “attached” himself silently to our “clique” of three patients. George hardly said a word in two years of meetings! When I became cancer-free and he was still struggling to survive, he looked at me sheepishly and uttered.

“Do you have a “secret” for recovery from cancer, Mr. Eli?”

“I have a few, George. They are kind of “hidden” in my website, http://www.cancer-vcrc.org,”

“Can you share your best “secret” with me, I have been watching you. I want to improve my chances of survivor.”

“George, you have to become perfect to survive cancer.”

He seemed kind of shuttered. ” How do you do that?”

“Very simple, George, you replace the false definition of “perfection” that appears in almost all dictionaries with the true definition of the word and follow it diligently in your behavior.”

“OK, Eli, What do you think perfection is?”

“You are perfect when you are aware of the ins and outs of your cancer situation.”

“Is that means that being perfect is not the absence of cancer?”

“That is correct, George, the social definition of perfection as the absence of problems harms a lot of people. It’s incorrect. The Universe is full of imperfections by any cultural definition, yet it is perfect. Are you aware of it?”

“I am not sure. I have a to think about it. This is the longest conversation that I have had ever had with anyone since my diagnosis.”

“Good luck, George, there are a few Webster definitions about health, wealth and happiness that need to be replaced in your life before you can create cancer-free great life!

Law of Instrument and Law of Culture.

April 27, 2013

The ideas of Abraham Maslow the father of humanistic psychology are not as threatening to human culture as Freud’s ideas, but are threatening enough for schools not to really teach them. I am writing this blog posting waking up my pet dream that you might change your voting pattern in the next election and vote for representatives committed to the security of Americans more than they are committed to great explanations when the FBI and the CIA fail to protect us in New York city or Boston. Here is a psychological insight: Maslow’s 1966 Law of Instrument says, “If the only tool you have is a hammer, you see everything as a nail.”  Terrorists are not nails, they use nails. The FBI and CIA are not trained how to use psychology of terrorism instruments. That is a fact that cost lives! Worse than that, in the Law of Culture Maslow says, “Without extensive training you will do only what your culture let you do.” The American culture is not designed to know how to fight terror. To do that, you need to train agents to use thinking out of the box. As I said at the beginning of this posting, would my pet dream for you to vote differently be fulfilled? The answer is No. Take a good example from the Second Amendment. Even when children die, you will not ban assault weapons. Think about Maslow. How nice is would be to take his two Laws seriously!

Narcissism.

January 9, 2013

Narcissism is preoccupation with one’s body and oneself. It’s healthy. Narcissism includes vanity, belief in one’s good looks and social abilities, selfishness, placing one’s interests above the interests of others (without hurting them), and greed, selfishness at the expense of others – this one is clinical.

Here is the shocker: Narcissism is beneficial to the individual and society unless it is clinical, a fact  that is omitted from the definitions of the word narcissism in dictionaries. What is “clinical”?  This word is 100% important to know for your good life! “Clinical” means that the behavior of narcissism interfere with your ability to “love and work” in society (Google “love and work” to learn what it means). You see, it’s all simple, if you are a psychologist, please don’t complicate the issue. I am a narcissistic psychologist (normal, not clinical). I treat my slim and trim body like it is a temple of God, I make money at 76 like I have a million tomorrows to spend it, I am very skillful socially, I write blogs and websites on everything, I am married to a smart and beautiful woman. I love myself. I adore my identity as narcissist.

Hey, my sweet friend, if you are an obese narcissistic normal, you will lose weight with less effort than the humble fat person will. You want to look sharp. You may feel that you look sharp after losing only 20 lbs. If you are narcissistic normal you talk about yourself a lot but in a way that attracts and entertains others (most people are boring). You accumulate nicer things than others do. You make a great teacher or politician because you love attention. You buy for yourself nicer things than you buy for others. You love to be a great teacher, counselor, tour guide, or what have you. I love narcissistic normals. I  avoid narcissistic clinicals. Hey, listen, the truth will make you free. You can now thank me for helping you understand how the bad part of culture tries to limit our self-love!

Is culture everything?

August 11, 2012

The Olympics are coming to an end. The democratic USA culture with 300 million people dominates the life of Americans with freedom of self expression and big monetary rewards for  desirable expressions. The US athletes won about 100 medals (1medal=3m). The organized and centralized Chinese culture with 1.3 billion people dominates the life of the Chinese people with love for the motherland and personal accolade for desirable achievements but little monetary rewards. Chinese athletes won about 90 medals (1medal=14m). The disorganized Indian culture dominates the life of 1.1 billion Indians with love for peace of mind and the hereafter. India won 2 medals (1medal=550m). Wonderful egalitarian easy going outdoor oriented Canadian culture with 30 million people dominates the life of Canadians with strong freedom of expression but almost no nationalistic financial reward or accolade for achievements. Canada won about 20 medals (1medal=1.5m).  To all the other countries participating in the 2012 Olympics I would say: Look at the number of medals your culture has produced in the 2012 Olympics and guess, (1) Your national pride, (2) Government support, (3) importance of standard of living, (4) cultural organization or chaos, and (5) level of personal satisfaction in living. As with all sociological analyses, this one will be ignored by “loser” cultures blaming “winner” cultures of exploitation of athletic resources.

I would give a “losing” culture one generation (25 years) of good education (yourself and your children) rather than “picking” on other people to become a winning culture. go for it!

The naked girl and her sister from the Yellow marble planet.

December 26, 2010

I give permission to one of the dearest people in my life who is writing a documentary to include in her book this 2 stories how I used “participation therapy.” Once upon a time I was asked by Dr. W.B. to conduct separate therapy sessions with a 22-year-old female patient who was hallucinating (Schizophrenic), and a 19-year-old female patient who was taking her clothes off in public (exhibitionist). I decided to use “participation therapy,” a method that was against the protocol and is shun upon by most psychologists for cultural reasons.  I was let go shortly after using that forbidden technique in the half-way-house.

In “Participation Therapy” the therapist enters the patient’s world by accepting his behavior and exits his world with him only when the patient decides.  I love to do this kind of therapy because it really helps people return to normal reality while the brain’s hormonal balance is being restored with medication.

Her soft handshake felt warm and dry, “Doctor, I am really from the yellow marble planet, I swear.” I knew right away that her moron previous therapist tried to reason with her. “I know, Mary, that is why he is not coming back.” She looked at me and took a deep breath of relief, “Do you believe me?” I offered her tea, “Yes, I do, tell me about your home planet,” I said with enthusiasm, not a bit of acting in me, I really wanted to know what life was like on another planet. Experience and imagination are gifts to man from God. Needless to say, 3 weeks later she said, “Doc, I hate to disappoint you. I was born and raised in Inglewood, California.” That was when I was asked not to do “participation therapy” again, because, as they put it “The good ending does not justify the bad means”!

In the case of Angela, she took off her gown as soon as she entered the counseling room, scanning my face for a reaction (By protocol I was supposed to bring to her another gown. There were 10 different ones on the rack). “Please sit down, Angela.”  She stood there staring in disbelief, “Aren’t you suppose to turn you head away and walk toward me with another gown, like the other therapists do?” I ignored her statement masquerading as a question, “Please sit down.” “I will not.” “As you wish.”  On the third session she kept her gown on.” The next day I was dismissed from the case, never to return to the facility. The last I heard was that Angela started taking her clothes off again in therapy sessions.

Is there a moral to my 2 stories? i don’t know. There is a hint how therapeutic it would be to let people be not themselves sometimes. Well, actually, on a second thought, there is a moral to the story and I think it is, “You can’t be yourself without sometimes being not yourself, or as I told a mother once “You got to let the boy scream so he can become quiet, or, you got to let the baby cry himself to sleep, or you got to let him be bad before he can be good, and so on.  You know something? You are probably doomed if you can’t learn when!

TUESDAY IS THE DAY NOTHING CHANGES!

October 31, 2010

Sorry, but that has always been the case after elections, nothing really changes. To get full employment with good wages in the US you have got to get Obama out of his – “box.” And that cannot happen because, as the great psychologist Dr. Abraham Maslow wrote years ago, very few voters can vote outside their culture or mode of thinking. Humans, he pointed out, cannot escape their upbringing limitations unless they strive to become self-actualized. You can see that in every “childish” or “frivolous” democratic or republican campaign commercial that refuses to deal seriously with real issues of how to create full employment at good wages and stop spending money on wars. Blame it on Facebook and Twitter, but what good would it do. This generation is shallow. Blame it on a “stupid surge” involvement in Iraq or Afghanistan, but what good would that do. The last generation was “scared.”  Indeed, you sent shallow and scared reps to Washington to do your bidding. The American empire is beginning to decline, just like the British empire has just ended declining.

Sure, there is a better way, but it won’t happen unless  YOU REFUSE TO VOTE ON TUESDAY! Hey, I understand, if you can’t get yourself to be that smart and powerful, at least don’t vote for democrats or Tea Party candidates. The republicans will get the House and the Senate and you will get a gridlock, which is better than a spendthrift – until INDEPENDENTS run for office in 2012 willing to bring the troops home RIGHT AWAY and CONCENTRATE on CREATING decent paying jobs here at home! Let the rest of the world solve THEIR OWN PROBLEMS for a change, and let Americans concentrate on protecting themselves, meaning beating the shit out of anyone in the world who is trying to hurt Americans! No more half-ass job of creating jobs at home. Do you want to get it right? Start by reading Donald trump’s book THINK BIG AND KICK ASS. You see, it isn’t hard to know what to do, what’s hard is to do it. We are back to Maslow full circle: Humans, he pointed out, cannot escape their upbringing limitations unless they strive become self-actualized. So, when you finish reading Donald’s book, go to Google and type in Self Actualization.

Hey, dude, the next posting will be how to create full employment in the US at good wages. Again, it isn’t hard to know what to do, what’s hard is to find a president, congressmen and senators TO DO IT!

The truth about Religion, Ethnicity and Culture!

September 28, 2010

When a person achieves a distinction great enough for his name to be mentioned on TV and in the news media, should his/her religion, culture or ethnicity be mentioned alongside his/her achievement? Those of you who say “Yes” assume correctly that no person is an island, that the person achieved his distinction not only as an individual by also through influence from his religion, culture and ethnicity. Psychologically speaking that is always the case, except may be in the case of Tarzan who lived in the jungle, but even he deep inside had British colonial influence.

Psychology and economics have known for a long time since commerce on this planet started 10,000 years ago, that in every religion, culture and ethnic group there are individuals that make great contributions to humanity, albeit in different areas, be it in art, science, foods, clothing, technology, songs, dances, rituals, civil management, inventions, space explorations and governance. But, we usually hear the bad things, “Catholic priests molest children,” “Muslims are terrorists,” “American Indians live in reservations only,” Chinese are communists,” “Watch for German militarism coming back,” or  “India is dirty.” The time has come to scrap those prejudices and to start news reports about individual achievements emphasizing the positive influences that comes out of religions, cultures and ethnicities. They enrich our lives, diversify quality products and services, and advance human civilization. Diversity is wonderful and it is time for us to appreciate one another’s background so the best in man will show up front and the worse will recede into oblivion!