My response.

Dr. Eli Kinarthy • Dear Jorelle,
Your friend is among 90% of the people unconsciously creating a personal stage and acting out a hidden life style common to the majority of folks (Freud, Shakespeare). It is well-known in psychology that a central behavior of Humans from the moment of birth is to seek out meaning to their lives. About 10% succeed. The majority cope with their persistent feeling of “existential emptiness” by pretending in public that it isn’t there.

A transformational change from being in the 90% to being in the 10% is possible but difficult. That is why the 10% hasn’t changed. People who try the transformational change from -1 to +1 have to go through 0 (nothing). They don’t know how to do it (first step is meditation) so they settle for pretending that they got it. As you can see, the issue is not easy to understand. I am a 76-year-old retired psychologist. Look at my face on this recent picture and you will get a sense that I succeeded in switching from the 90 to the 10 years ago. The best that I can suggest to your friend is: Go to and read everything and the “10% rule.” Even better, take it all seriously. Start from my website to get to know me, I help people. Of course, there is one thing that can by-pass all the hard work involved in transformation to the 10% and that is FIND TRUE LOVE, but that is so hard to do that most people who try end pretending that they found it. Self deception is your starting point in life!


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