“Happy father’s day” lacks a deep meaning.

Yesterday, I celebrated “Happy Father’s Day” with 2 of my four grown up kids. They cooked me a nice dinner at home. I received a Facebook greeting “Happy Father’s Day” from my third grown up son, and I am sure my fourth son will soon call me from the States. It was nice. Many fathers would have liked such nice treatment from the family.

I am old fashion. For me celebrating fatherhood  was supposed to be more than that – something is missing in the two Western countries where I raised my 4 kids – the US and Canada. I realized that I had the misfortune of having  to share raising my children with values from the 2 cultures that I have chosen to live in for economic reasons. I love my kids, don’t get me wrong, but they all went their own ways. The wonderful values that I have had, that have brought me wealth, health and happiness, are not the values that my kids espouse. They are struggling. I have lost my influence as a father in competition with schools that don’t educate,  TV that don’t inform, friends that don’t know what’s important to know, and the superficial culture we live in. I crave to discuss philosophy, politics, art, economics, science, anthropology, or psychology with my children. I would love to teach them to invest and make a lot of money, but my children are more interested in  – the weather, dogs, games and what their friends say – much ado about nothing! No one in my family has my values, no one lives for something greater than themselves except my wife and myself. Do you think that may change after this posting?

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3 Responses to ““Happy father’s day” lacks a deep meaning.”

  1. Jon Kinarthy Says:

    I love you dad. How does happiness fit in to one’s value system? If I get more pleasure playing games than investing money, an objective observer would say that valuing games is better for me than valuing investing.

    If you have a value you hold dear, and it seems like a no-brainer that having that value would make anyone’s life better, it’s very difficult to accept when someone close to you doesn’t also hold that value dear. I wish you would come to accept (and more importantly to believe) that there are things more important to me that the accumulation of wealth.

    -Jon, the 4th son.

  2. drkinarthy Says:

    My dear son, there was a tacit acceptance of paternal reality when I wrote, “They all went their own ways.” I whole heartedly accept (and acknowledge the psychological fact) that what you do to make yourself happy is more important to your happiness than what your father would have liked you to do. My children’s “wish” for freedom to choose their own values has been granted many years ago. I just wish on Father’s Day that the “Apple landed a bit closer to the tree. Love, dad.

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