Dr. Kinarthy on love and conflict!

Love is the most common expression in human relationships, conflict comes a close second. You already know from my previous professional revelations that most of my colleagues are “politically correct” and will not tell you hardly anything like it is! I will, so pay close attention because the points that I make will give you the power to respond your best in love relationships or during conflict:

True love in a relationship is never “unconditional,” and is not “chemistry” or “sexuality” or  “kind words.” True love is a “spiritual” state of overcoming the mind and willing to sacrifice something of yourself to the object of your love because you receive something in return that you consider important or  “special.” The “sacrifice” must be in the form of performing  a meaningful “service,” and/or giving “a product” to the object of your love, and receiving a meaningful “service” or a “product.” True love is nurtured by consciousness which makes sure that the “exchange” is growth promoting, feels natural, and is balanced.

Conflict is always mental and physical, never spiritual: You believe that you give more than you receive, and you get physical about it because it is important to you to receive more. There is no such thing as “spiritual” conflict except in the mind, which makes it also mental. The resolution of conflict is always in the favor of the stronger party if it is willing to demonstrate its strength while showing respect and fairness to the weaker party.

The above descriptions of true love and conflict resolution are easy to follow if you can answer the  “true-false” questions: (1) It is worse for your relationship to say “let me make it up to you,” than to say, “I am sorry about what I did.”  (2) It is better  to say on his birthday, “George, I love you very much” than to give him something or do something that you know will please him. (3) It is better for the relationship to say, “please don’t hit me again” than to physically restrain an opponent that assaults you.” (4) It is worse for the relationship to punish someone for a destructive behavior, than to give him a second chance to fix the damage. (5) In a true love relationship between a newly wed couple, it is OK for a partner to say, “I will make love to you as soon as I am ready to have a baby.” (6) In conflict resolution, it is better to warn your enemy first rather than retaliate first and then warn him against a second attack. (7) Showing kindness to someone who attacks you can work only if he sees you as a person who genuinely wants peace. You have great insight about relationships if you answered all false.

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3 Responses to “Dr. Kinarthy on love and conflict!”

  1. Jon Kinarthy Says:

    I’m curious to know how number 7 relates to the middle east.

  2. drkinarthy Says:

    The Middle-East is a classic example of endless debates in the media and elsewhere that saps energy and resources away from a true process of conflict resolution as described in psychological research. I may cite the research next time if I get a request.

  3. http://tradingsocialcapital.com Says:

    Many thanks to be so kind to fairly share this information.

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