8 behaviors people do to mess up their relationships:

1. They rush too fast into relationships because they are young, lonely, horny, phony or perceive life as a social baloney. They hurt themselves in those relationships because they feel more guilty about their behavior than the behavior of others.

2. They don’t set up ahead of time any rules for relating and just play it along, so they don’t really know how effectively to solve conflicts when they arise.

3. They don’t think about who would be the best outside referee when there is a foul play, and those foul plays can become really “nasty balls” thrown at your court.

4. They let family, friends or co-workers interfere too much in the relationship, to the point that you tend to form two opposing camps or “armies.” The conflict usually reaches an impasse and is just represses without a solution until it flares up again.

5. They relay too much on unqualified professionals, authorities, etc., to handle disputes and differences. The situation becomes more entangled than it really is.

6. They react to unacceptable verbal behavior as if it means more than it does, yet knowing that in the heat of argument people say things they don’t mean and are not part of the personality (According to psychology speech does not come from attitude).

7. They react to unacceptable physical acts as if it means less than it does, yet knowing that even in the heat of argument people still do things they mean and are part of their personality! (according to psychology attitude triggers physical action).

8. They forgive unacceptable physical behavior against them instead of making the other person make it up to you in good behavior, giving a service, possession or money to make up for the bad behavior. The drastic option, of course, is to leave the person you have the relationship with!

I hope this helps some of you. It makes me feel really good to see happy smiling people around! Dr. Eli.

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